


I seek some nobler hero’s name

by tigriswolf



Series: comment_fic drabbles [183]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Families of Choice, Gen, Healing, Identity Issues, Muteness, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, POV Outsider, Past Abuse, Stealth Hi Bye, Team Bonding, spoilers for Little Women
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-05-19
Packaged: 2018-01-25 19:37:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1660043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigriswolf/pseuds/tigriswolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For months, he doesn't respond to his name.  He's a ghost in the Tower, seen out the corners of people's eyes, there for a moment and then not. </p><p>Steve is the only one who calls him anything at all, and no one knows if that's wrong or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I seek some nobler hero’s name

**Author's Note:**

> Title: I seek some nobler hero’s name  
> Disclaimer: not my characters; title from Lord Byron  
> Warnings: past abuse, identity issues, everything that Winter Soldier implies, takes place after Avengers 2 so they’re all a happy family at Avengers Tower, spoilers for _Little Women_  
>  Pairings: Pepper/Tony, Jane/Thor  
> Rating: PG  
> Wordcount: 1950  
> Point of view: third  
> Note: thanks to 5012allinarow for help with Tony Stark  
> Prompt: any, any, "You do know 'Oi, you!' is not my name, right?"

For months, he doesn't respond to his name. He's a ghost in the Tower, seen out the corners of people's eyes, there for a moment and then not. 

Steve is the only one who calls him anything at all, and no one knows if that's wrong or not. There's so much none of them know; the whole thing is a puzzle of guesswork, and they're some of the smartest people in the world, but this is... 

Sometimes, Bruce has to remove himself from the situation because his eyes are glowing green. Sometimes, Tony locks himself in his lab and builds and builds and builds until his mind finally quiets. Sometimes, Natasha and Clint spar for hours, or Pepper buys herself an entire store's worth of shoes, or Thor stands on the roof, shouting at the sky. Sometimes, Sam sits them all down and tells them to do their best, and then explains what that might be, and then he drags Steve to the Met, or the park, or the dog adoption fair at wherever it is that week.

And through it all, he’s a ghost. 

.

But he begins to react when words are directed at him, and it’s not with a flinch, or to look away, or to make himself smaller. 

It hurt all of them, the way he never moved to defend himself if he was conscious at the time. Any self-defense, it was always when he was asleep, or coming out of one his memory flashes. But never if he was entirely conscious. Never if he was aware. 

(Clint shot arrows till his fingers bled, till Tasha dragged him away from the range.)

But one day, Bruce asked the table in general for the salt, and from his seat beside Steve, staring down at his plate, eyes wide with awe that he got to eat, he picked up the salt with his flesh-and-blood hand, and held it out to Bruce. 

And they all wanted to cheer, but none of them made a sound as Bruce gently took it from him with a soft, “Thank you.” 

He didn’t look up, but he also didn’t shrink in on himself, and Steve’s grin was one that they’d only ever seen in black-and-white footage. 

.

Natasha is in the common area, watching Scooby Doo and eating cookie dough ice cream, when he sits down on the other side of the couch. She gives a sideways glance and a small smile so he knows she knows he’s there and then waits a few minutes to offer him the tub of ice cream. 

He shakes his head sharply and focuses on the screen, where Fred is declaring who the episode’s villain is. (He is, of course, wrong.) 

When Shaggy makes his usual inane comment, he huffs at Scooby’s reaction and Natasha smiles down at her ice cream.

The episode ends and he stands, but Natasha says, “It’s a marathon, if you’d like to stay and keep me company.”

He fidgets in place before sitting back down, slightly closer. 

She offers the ice cream again, four episodes later. This time, he takes it. 

.

Clint’s at the range, trying out Tony’s latest arrow upgrade. Between one shot and the next, he’s no longer alone, but Clint doesn’t react because Natasha’s been sneaking up on him for years now. 

(He’s aged ten years since they met. She hasn’t aged a day. They never talk about it.)

“So, I’ve heard you’re one of the best,” Clint says conversationally. Sergeant Barnes had been one of the best snipers in the US forces, that’s down in the history books. “But I’ll bet you a bag of chips that I’m better,” he finishes, sending the arrow straight into the center of the target. 

No response, but he watches out the corner of his eye as fingers, both flesh and metal, brush over the rifles he’s got lined up on the table. When the fingers grip one of Tony’s experimental rifles, Clint bites down his smile and launches into the spiel Tony had given him about it.

Clint’s better, but not by much, and only with his bow and arrow. He actually manages to eat the entire bag of Fritos before, between one chip and the next, he’s alone in the kitchen. 

“You totally taught Tasha that trick, didn’t you?” he asks the air, chuckling. 

.

Bruce is reading the dissertation of one of Stark Industries’ interns, making notes in the margin, when he realizes that there’s someone browsing the bookshelf in the corner. He’s curled up in a comfy chair in the ‘library,’ as they’ve taken to calling the room where Tony banishes all of the books, the room with the second best natural lighting in the Tower (after Steve’s studio). He doesn’t startle because he’s trained himself not to (dangerous, so dangerous); he just takes a deep breath and then exhales the shock and sudden burst of fear. 

“They’re organized by when they were placed here,” Bruce announces into the still air. “If you’re looking for something in particular, I could probably help you find it.” 

He glances at Bruce through the curtain of dark hair, turned so that he’s neither facing toward him or away – and then he turns himself so that his back is fully towards Bruce. 

Bruce blinks at him, mouth dropping open at the blatant display of trust. He wants to dance around the room, wants to shout it at everyone – instead, he takes another deep breath and smiles down at the dissertation. 

When he glances back up, he’s alone in the library, and _Little Women_ is missing from the bookshelf.

.

It is raining as Thor thinks of his brother. Jane is beside him on the bench, tucked beneath the poncho, but neither of them speaks. He knows that there is no one who mourns as he does; too many have forgotten the boy Loki once was. 

There is so much he would do differently, if he could go back. 

And then, there he is at the edge of the roof: Steve Rogers’ brother. Jane gasps a little at the suddenness, but Thor had heard him coming. “Welcome!” he calls through the rain. 

“Could you please step back?” Jane says. “Please? It’s… it’s a long fall.” She is tense beneath his arm, ready to spring forward though she could never be fast enough. 

He steps back, giving them a glance over his shoulder; as ever, he does not speak. He has not spoken since he followed Steve into Stark’s tower. Steve’s stories of their youth rival a few of Thor’s own, and according to those stories, he is a better brother than Thor ever was. 

“Thank you,” Jane sighs, leaning into Thor’s side with relief. 

His lips twist in what could be a smile as he tilts his face towards the sky. 

Thor rests his chin on Jane’s head, letting his thoughts turn again towards Loki. He is happy that Steve has a second chance with his own brother, but sometimes is also quite jealous of Steve’s fortune. But he smiles as the rain begins to lessen, and when Jane asks, “Hey, where’d he go?” he laughs. 

.

Tony’s been locked out of his lab by Jarvis at Pepper’s request (56 hours is not that long a time, okay?) so he ambles his way to the nearest kitchen, making memos of what else to do with his current 34 projects, when Cap’s buddy steps out of the corner, a sheet of paper held gently in his bionic fist. 

“Heeey, there, buddy,” Tony says, immediately ceasing all movement. 

He holds the paper up, so Tony’s gaze goes from his face to the paper and then back before he reaches for it. He blinks at the designs on it: random ideas for arm upgrades, a few quick sketches to make it more comfortable, ease of movement, nothing all that fancy (no matter what Captain No-Fun says). This particular group, he remembers sketching at a very boring meeting, when he’d left his tablet in bed with Pepper. He’d wondered where that notebook had gone before it completely slipped his mind, oh, two weeks ago? Yeah, two weeks ago. Huh.

“So, you like these, huh?” he asks, glancing up. And, hey, no shock: the guy’s gone again. Like a ghost. Tony carefully folds up the paper and puts it in his pocket. “Jarvis, make a note: arm upgrades, to the top of the list.”

.

Steve sleeps and dreams of Brooklyn at the height of summer, stretched out with the windows open, wearing only shorts. He’s 9, he’s 14, he’s 21 – and Bucky’s always with him. 

He wakes to a shadow sitting beside him, legs crossed, watching him. “Hey, Bucky,” he says, rolling over to put a hand on Bucky’s knee. 

There is no expression on Bucky’s face, but both his hands are in plain sight and his body isn’t coiled tightly. He finally says, “Beth died.” His voice is as emotionless as his face, but his right hand clenches into a fist. “Why did she die?” 

These are the first words Steve has heard Bucky say since the helicarrier, and Steve has no idea who Beth is, but Bucky continues with, “She was sick all the time, and she was – she was a good person.” He looks away from Steve, face crumpling. “Why’d she die?” 

“I don’t know, Bucky,” Steve says, slowly sitting up. “Why don’t you tell me about her?” He maneuvers himself carefully until he’s sitting knee to knee and shoulder to shoulder with Bucky, and he listens as Bucky tells him all about four sisters who lived out their lives, and he leans in close, offering support, when Bucky’s voice shakes when he talks about Beth. 

“I kept picturing you, in my head,” Bucky confesses, letting his hair fall into his face, trying to hide.

Steve had already figured that out, but he just wraps an arm around Bucky’s shoulder and says, “You ready for breakfast?” 

Bucky nods, so Steve stands and pulls Bucky up with him. 

.

His parents called him Jim and his sisters called him Jimmy. Most days, he remembers that. All of his friends but one called him Jim, too, and his coworkers called him Barnes. Everyone in the army called him Barnes, and then he was a subject until he became an asset, and then sometimes he was the soldier. 

“Bucky?” Steve had said, and that was enough. A name. “James Buchanan Barnes,” Steve had said, his shield falling into the Potomac. “My friend.” 

Most days, he remembers. And even on the ones he doesn’t, Steve’s there to remind him. 

.

“Hey, buddy,” Tony calls, striding into the common area. “Buddy, here! Heel!” He looks around for their resident ghost, ignoring Bruce’s shocked expression and the disapproval on Jane’s face. 

“Bucky,” a voice says behind him, and he spins in place, tripping on his own feet. 

“My name’s Bucky,” he says again, “but only Steve gets to call me that.” 

Tony finds his balance, backing up out of reach. “What do I call you, then?” He ignores Bruce and Jane’s muffled laughter, making a mental note to have Jarvis delete that footage later. 

“James,” he says. “Call me James.” 

Tony nods. “I finished the upgrades you wanted. You willing to come to my lab for ‘em?” 

James makes a fist with the metal hand, eyes dropping down to the fingers.

“What about mine?” Jane asks, walking over to hover next to him. “I don’t have all the machinery that Tony does, just a bunch of computers. Would that be alright, you think?” 

After a moment, James nods. “Let’s try it,” he says. 

Tony isn’t surprised in the least when Captain Overprotective joins them on the way to the elevator.


End file.
